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12.02.19

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You know, making the coding and sort of format was a whole lot easier than actually writing this out. I didn't want to make this sappy like the last few gifts I have given you, or like, saying the same stuff that I usually do like saying how much I love you and all that sappy stuff, again.

I'm not even really sure how to start this or really what to say, because I don't want to keep saying the same stuff over and over again, but I'm literally doing that right now in this, repeating stuff over and over again. You know why I repeat stuff so much? Because I want to drill it into your head, like how much I love you and care about you because I really do, truly. I know I can't really say that I know you because even though we had that one day about sharing favorites and all, truth be told, I kind of don't really know you. I know some of you, like your favorites, I know you love to play games with your friends, you like video games more than card and board games, the one game you're actually afraid of is Amnesia which looks terrifying as hell. I know what you're like but I don't know you completely, but I want to take the time to get to know you.

I know that we may even break up before we ever get to meet each other, I don't know when and I don't even know why or how we would break up but you know relationships don't always last forever. But while we are together, I want to make this the best time ever. I want to talk to you as much as I can, learn more about you, make you happy.

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When we first met, I would never imagine that we would be dating in the future and I have to admit, I have quite a crush on you when LAHS, the wiki, was first created and I know it probably sounds stupid since there was so much shit going on with this other guy and this other girl with me and it was dragged onto here, I really want to apologize for all that bullshit drama for a couple of years ago. Now I'm just getting off track, what I was trying to say is that I never really imagined that you would be my boyfriend for an entire year and who knows how far into the future we'll be together.

I know that sometimes we don't talk a lot, like sometimes either of us think that the other is busy and we don't want to bother them, and usually that ends up with me coming to you with apologies and tears. I want you to know that I always want to talk to you, I'm fine with you "bothering" me even if I am busy with school or hockey. I enjoy talking to you, I always do and I want you to feel comfortable to joke around with me because I have to admit, I was always really jealous when I got to see you joking around with everyone in the LAHS server and I, this isn't because of you at all, never really felt like I was able to joke around with you like a normal couple would I guess. I want to be like a friend and not just your girlfriend. I want you to mess around with me, probably not like you and your friends mess around but I want you to feel free to joke with me, whatever the joke is.. and I'm repeating myself again.

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I want to get this off my chest too, this isn't really getting it off my chest but god I love when you call be baby or babe, those nicknames are honestly probably cheesy as hell but they make me giddy as hell and so fucking happy. And I love it when you just say "I love you" out of nowhere, it always makes me so happy to hear it and even when I don't ask for it. This is honestly so random but I just wanted to put this in here.

I also really want to let you know how much I appreciate you. Even if you weren't my boyfriend, I know that you would still help me out through things I'm going through, and I seriously appreciate it. You did it before we started dating and you still do it now. You make me happy and always try to cheer me up whenever I'm feeling down, and you always listen to whatever I'm rambling or randomly crying about which I'm pretty sure has gotten a bit annoying up to this point, me crying about random stuff.

I don't know what will happen in the future, really nobody will, but what I do know is that I want to make this time, the time we spend together, amazing for you, and I want to make you happy however I can. And I want to help you however I can, whatever I can do. I'm always going to be here for you even if I don't respond right away, you never have to worry about bugging me or being annoying, but really don't be like me. But I know that you like to deal with stuff on your own and I respect that, but if you ever need someone, I'm here. This is really all spread out and just really unorganized

Click me!
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